Masala Memoirs
From Balsar to the Bay: Jeliben Patel on Food, Family & the Flavors of Motherhood
How do you carry home across continents? For Jeliben Patel, the answer lies in a pot of daal, the rhythm of routine, and the way children are raised with food as love. This is her story—rooted in tradition, seasoned with change.
A Taste of Home: Beginnings in Balsar
Jeliben Patel’s journey began in the quiet town of Balsar, Gujarat. Known for its comforting Daal Bhat—a combination of lentils, rice, vegetables, and roti—Balsar’s food traditions are stitched into her memory. That warmth would travel with her as she crossed borders, first to Panama in 1973, then to the U.S. in 1980.
“I still remember eating Daal Bhat the day we arrived,” she says with a smile, recalling that first familiar bite in a new, unfamiliar land.
Family, Pregnancies, and Sour Cravings
All three of Jeliben’s children were born in Panama City. During her pregnancies, her sister-in-law was by her side, and she remembers craving all things sour. She wasn’t working then; she embraced her role as a full-time homemaker, supported by family who ensured meals and care were always abundant.
Two Worlds of Motherhood: India vs. America
“In India, the home is a village, and the village is the home,” Jeliben reflects.
Raising children in the U.S. felt different—more isolated, more self-contained. In India, extended family plays a crucial role, while in the U.S., parenting often becomes a solo act. From feeding methods to play spaces, and even how time is structured, Jeliben navigated a cultural shift.
Sleeping with the Clock
In India, sleep followed the sun and mood—no strict rules. Children fell asleep when tired. But in the U.S., it was all about the schedule. “Sleep times here are like appointments,” Jeliben laughs. “It took getting used to.”
Feeding by Instinct, Not the Book
Blogs and books weren’t her guide. “Whatever they wanted, I made,” she says. Jeliben relied on her instinct and cooked what she knew best—Indian and Mexican food. Nutrition wasn’t complicated: fresh, home-cooked meals and an attentive mother were enough.
Taste Wars: Kids vs. Adults
The kitchen table revealed a divide—adults loved their vegetables, but the kids were pickier. Eating out was allowed once or twice a week, depending on her mood. But the joy of cooking at home? Non-negotiable.
Passing the Apron
Jeliben continues to cook most meals but made sure her kids learned early. “It’s part of their future,” she says. Teaching them to cook wasn’t just about survival—it was about staying rooted.
Flexibility on the Plate
Her family is a blend of vegetarians and meat-eaters. “They decide for themselves,” Jeliben says simply. In her household, food isn’t a rigid identity—it’s a shared, evolving experience.
Legacy in Every Ladle
In Jeliben’s story, food is not just sustenance—it’s migration, motherhood, memory, and love. Her journey is a quiet revolution, where tradition meets resilience, and culture simmers gently in every meal she serves.